瞭解作文寫作目標後，我們就來試著批改、訂正這篇例文，讓它的英文更道地、轉折和用字更流暢！
第一段
✏️ 原文：
I can still vividly recall the first time I was assigned to teach the kids in a remote village.
📌 修改版本一：
I can still vividly recall the first time I was assigned to teach kids in a remote village. (the)
❓ 修改原因：
“the kids” 有指定某群孩子的意思，但後面卻只接 “in a remote village” （在遙遠的一個村莊裡），因此前面指定，後面卻不精確，讀起來不太順暢。
⇒ 而“kids in a remote village”皆不限定，意思是「在遙遠村莊的孩子」☑
📌 修改版本二：
I can still vividly recall the first time I was assigned to teach the kids who lived in a remote village. (加上關係代名詞，限定是哪群小孩)
❓ 修改原因：
“the kids who lived in a remote village”指出這群特定的孩子，是那些 “ who lived in a remote village” 的孩子，使用「限定關代」的用法，指出這群特定的孩子就是住在遙遠村莊的孩子。
※ 很多同學都會不確定甚麼時候需要或不需要加上 “the” ，建議同學可以多看上面這種詳細的說明，或是在老師刪去或加上 “the” 的時候，積極詢問老師原因，逐漸記憶用法喔。
第二段
✏️ 原文：
They were so naive, mainly brought up by their grandparents (修改1); therefore, they had an obvious huge gap (修改2) in academy compared to those living (修改3) in the city.
📌 修改版本一：
They were quite naive, as they had mainly been brought up by their grandparents. Therefore, there was an obvious gap between their academic knowledge and the knowledge of those educated in the city.
❓ 修改原因 (請以顏色對照上面的文章):
1. 因果關係連結感不強
原句使用分詞構句 “…mainly brought up by their grandparents.” 接在 “They were so naive” （他們很天真、純真樸實）後面，無法清楚表達因果關係，讀起來像是兩件相關性不強的事情寫在一句話內，建議改成以連接詞 “as” （因為）連接。
⇒用轉折字句 (as they had mainly been… 因為他們是被祖父母帶大的，所以才會很天真、純真樸實的 naive) ，顯示因果關係 (causation)。
(Add a transition for the first sentence that shows causation - “as they had been” is appropriate there.)
* transition: 轉變、過度 (n)
2. 母語人士針對特定用詞、意思表達的慣用表示
原句偏中式思維，受到中文「他們在課業上，和都市的孩子有 (they had...) 一段差距」的影響。
自然正確的英文說法應為 “There is a gap between A and B ”（ A 和 B 之間有一段落差） 這種表達方式，也是台灣學生看得懂卻常常寫不出來的其中一個例子。
3. 用字不夠精確 (請以顏色對照差異)
they had an obvious huge gap in academy compared to those living in the city. → Therefore, there was an obvious gap between their academic knowledge and the knowledge of those educated in the city.
(1) 刪去重複意思的詞彙：obvious 和 huge 意思相同，留下 obvious 就好。
(2) 選擇更精確詞彙： “academy” 在現代英文中，多指學院、研究院等意思，想傳達「學業知識」，可用更精準的 “academic knowledge” 。
* academic (a) 學業的
(3) 選擇更精準、有關的動詞：“those living in the city” → “those educated in the city” 住在城市的小孩 → 在城市受教育、上學的小孩 。 因為這句話想強調的，不是居住地，而是接受教育的地方。換成 “educated” 之後，也能更符合這篇作文的主題：偏鄉的小朋友沒有城市孩子那種教育資源，所以作者才要去教他們對吧😎